The people at work have this odd idea that I'm leaving at the end of the week. They want my keycard back... and my pager... and my desk... and my computer. In fact, they're threatening to stop paying me after Friday.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

I just wanted to dream about this. It was a way to get through days when the Avid kept crashing or there was no news to promote. It was always so far away that I never needed to worry about actually doing anything.

"It's gonna be very, very different."
But it would seem that I've messed around and let this arbitrary date slip up on me. It's very odd to know that I won't have a job in four days. Until I moved here to Cincinnati, that wouldn't have bothered me at all. I was used to situations like that. But having been in a comfortable job for four years, I'm realizing just how accustomed to it I'd gotten. It's gonna be very, very different.

And it's not the lack of a paycheck that's disconcerting. OK... it is a little... but I know I can live for well over a year on my savings. The weird part is that lack of purpose I tend to feel when I'm not employed. Like I have nothing of consequence to do. It's nonsense of course. There're plenty of purposeful things to do that don't involve working in a TV station all day. I suppose there's an argument to be made that there's not much purpose to working in a TV station all day in the first place. But that doesn't stop me from being a bit apprehensive.

"I think I'll adjust to the situation eventually."
I've been told by people who've done trips like this that it's a normal way to feel. I hope so. I think I'll adjust to the situation eventually. I've adjusted to new situations all my adult life, so it'd be kind of surprising if this one was different.

Pretty wild, though, to look at the countdown clock on the homepage and see "4." I can remember when it was well over 200. Why is it that time draaaags when you're anticipating something, but then it sneaks up on you. And when it arrives, you're like "where'd that come from?..." "How'd it get here so fast?"

Dad's coming Friday night. Saturday, four years and four months after Mom dropped me off, I leave Cincinnati.